Six human needs

Every day, we make choices based on our thoughts, feelings and habits we’ve created along the way. Every second, we’re following certain paths that create our destiny. What drives us to do or not do certain things? What is the deeper motivation for all of our decisions that shape our lives?

There are 6 human needs, we all long for. These are not just wishes or desires, but psychological needs, which we all, mostly unconsciously, try to satisfy all the time. They’re the deepest motivations for our daily choices. If these needs are being fulfilled on a higher level, we feel overall happy and content and if they’re not, well, we feel the opposite. Because this process usually happens unconsciously, sometimes you don’t even know why you feel the way you feel. On the surface, your life can seem perfectly fine, but you can still feel some unease or restlessness. It’s hard to satisfy all of these needs all the time, but if you know what they are, you can be more aware of the things you’re doing and why. Maybe you can find other, more practical ways to satisfy those needs or simply change your view on them.

So what are these 6 needs we all crave to fulfill?

 

1. Certainty: we need comfort and certainty, to reduce the stress of uncertainty. We need to feel safe.
2. Uncertainty: we need variety and a bit of uncertainty, to escape the daily routine and boredom. We need excitement.
3. Significance: we need to feel important and meaningful. We need a sense of identity and uniqueness. We need to feel special.
4. Connection: we need to make and have a deeper connection with people. We need to love and to be loved.
5. Growth: We need knowledge, experience and mental, emotional and spiritual growth in different aspects of our lives. We need progress.
6. Contribution: we need to contribute to something bigger than ourselves. We need to add worth to other people’s lives. We need to give.

 

So there you go. These are the 6 human needs that all of your decisions are based upon. Every time you make a decision, your intention is to fulfill one of these needs.

Now let me get back to the Law of Attraction, so we can make an important point. Most people are focused on the lack of these needs. They’re alarmed when they’re not getting something. What’s maybe even more important is that we often expect to get these things from other people and when we don’t, we feel even worse.

 

On the other hand, we take for granted and forget about the needs that ARE fulfilled. That creates a lack of gratitude, which is the fastest killer of your high vibrations and therefore the biggest obstacle on your way of creating. When you truly understand this pattern, you can change it. Redirect your focus on things that are going well and get your attention off the things that are not going so well. Believe that everything will fall into place, as soon as you get your vibes high and keep them there.

It’s not about faking your feelings by any means, nor is it neglecting your issues. It’s understanding that your emotions, therefore the way you feel, determine your outcome. Focusing on the things that are good in your life and things you’re grateful for will provide those emotions, resolving the things that are not so good. When you feel good, you’ll come up with ideas and solutions, you’ll meet the right people, create the right situations and see opportunities, you’d not see otherwise. Problems and solutions have different frequency, so you can’t find a solution, if you’re on the frequency of a problem.

I’m gonna wrap it up by reminding you to think about things you’re grateful for and just feel good about that for a while. You’ll witness miracles!

 

Have a great week!

 

Art <3

Fill your cup!

Two days ago I saw a 72 year old lady who didn’t look a day older than 50. She still hasn’t left my mind. Honestly, the first thing I thought was: “Well hello there, my future self!” I couldn’t help but smile at her, thinking: ”Wow, you look so fabulous and my respect is deep!” She smiled back as if she heard my thoughts. I was impressed with the way she carried herself. She was very well dressed, her make-up was spotless and you could see that she was taking care of herself. You can’t fake that kind of commitment.

There’s no one that can convince me that looks don’t matter, simply because you can see people’s habits on the outside. So it’s not really about looks, it’s exactly opposite. I can see if you’re working out 5 times a week, once a week or never. I can see if you’re smoking and eating junk. People are reflecting on the outside who they are on the inside. It’s really not about judgment or being superficial. I’m often misunderstood when I talk about this. It just says a lot about who you are and what your priorities are. You communicate that with your whole being. I don't have to know you to see if you're athletic, depressed, successful or stressed. It really shows all of it without you saying a word.

I’m a strong believer that if you don’t take care of yourself FIRST, you have absolutely nothing to give to someone else. So if you think that you’re being the best caregiver that God has ever made, because you’re always taking care of other people, you’re anything but that. It’s really true when they say: “You can’t pour from an empty cup!”

So, let’s talk about what most of you are thinking right now: “But I don’t have time!” The most used excuse of all times and the most untrue of course. See, all people in the world have exactly the same amount of hours in one day. The difference in their lives is how they choose to spend them. People say: “You don’t understand, I have a job and 2 kids and really, really, really no time left!” Well, I say: “There are people working 2 jobs, have 4 kids and still find the time!” Again, it’s not about having time, it’s about making time.

I juggle between my job, housekeeping, my son, gym and studying. Besides that, I always try to look my best and I still get to watch movies, listen to music, write, paint, read and spend time with friends. Of course I don’t always get everything done perfectly, but I still try to find balance between making time for myself and everything else. Of course, I have it easy because I ‘only’ have one kid and that’s so much different than having 2. Sure, I know, because that fact somehow makes you a ‘real’ full-time parent and I’m just a part-time parent. Excuses make me sarcastic, I’m sorry... :D So anyway, when people tell you they don’t have time for something or for you, just know that you’re simply not on their priority list. No bad feelings, just always know the difference between those who check on you in their free time and those who free their time to check on you.

Set your priorities straight! Write them down, make a plan and smash them. It’s really that simple. My priorities are personal growth, taking care of myself, being healthy physically and mentally, simply because I’m planning to stick around for quite some time. I want to be an example to my one and only son, leaving some importance in his life and possibly others I get to meet on this journey of existence and all of this looking fabulous and in heels!

I’ll leave you now to take a moment and think about what your priorities are and why. Do you wanna feel and look 50 when you’re 72? I do!

 

Have a great rest of the week!

 

Art <3    

Unapologetically YOU!

Working on yourself and becoming who you truly are is a lifelong process. New knowledge and new experiences change you every day. You’re not the same person you were yesterday and you will not be the same tomorrow. If you use your growth right, this is a good thing. Becoming better, stronger and smarter is a choice. Change is inevitable, but progress is up to you. It’s how you deal with change and it’s the meaning you give it that will determine your progress.

 

People don’t like change. They want what they’re used to, even if it’s bad for them. They want that comfort of certainty and familiarity. I know this, because I lived like this for years and I still battle these challenges to this day. Although I’ve grown so much and I’m trying to become my full, true, authentic self, there’s still that ego and fear that stand strong together to fight me. Too often, they’re also being empowered by people around us. What I’ve learned is that people don’t want you to change either. It’s not comfortable for them. They’ll make you doubt yourself; they’ll make you feel guilty. If you set boundaries, if you say “no”, if you stand up for yourself, if you choose your own happiness before their own, they will battle you and try to knock you down. You have to prepare for the fact that sometimes finding yourself means losing others and that’s ok. You are not responsible for other people’s happiness. People who truly love you will let you grow, they’ll let you be who you really are, they will celebrate your victories and be happy for your happiness. I’m still learning this…

When I was 18 years old, I reached the best possible state of mind I ever had. Due to earlier life struggles, I had just enough life experience to feel invincible, but still not even close enough life experience to be afraid. I felt unstoppable and wasn’t afraid or ashamed to make that very well known. Soon after, people happened, relationships happened, responsibilities happened…life happened. The fire within me was slowly put out. I learned to talk, behave and be the way other people expected me to. I’d do basically anything to avoid any kind of criticism. I didn’t go through with things I wanted, so others would be at peace. I see a lot of people, especially women, do the same thing, but they’re comfortably in denial. I got strong enough to acknowledge this and do something about it. Your own truth and vulnerability is a gift you own to yourself. It will set you free. Don’t let the ego fool you.

So, eventually, the fire in me was too strong to be put out. I'm basically becoming my 18 year old self again, but with a lot of life experience. I won’t behave, talk and be a certain way; I won’t be silent and hide my feelings, so people will be comfortable. I won’t let people determine who I should or shouldn’t be, say or not say, think or not think and feel or not feel. I won’t be expecting others to do so either. When I don’t like something about someone, I will simply avoid their presence. Let people be who they are at all times. If they’re bringing you good vibes, celebrate them, appreciate them and support them. If not, distance yourself, but let them be. You are responsible for your own personal space and the energy in it. Don’t blame others for bad energy if it’s you who allows it.

Be your true self and you will attract people who are comfortable around you and won’t have the need to change you. Compromise is sometimes necessary, sure, but not if you have to compromise who you really are. Relationships are about freedom of individual growth. It’s not about molding yourself into someone else’s vision of you. Don’t be afraid to disappoint other people, because you’ll pay the price of disappointing yourself. Don’t take life so serious, because it’s really not. We’re here to play and be happy. Don’t wake up at 80 yrs old, wishing you did and said things you wanted. Wishing you weren’t afraid to be who you really are.

So who is the true, raw, pure YOU? Without your job, without your status, without your partner, without your kids, without any external things you identify with. Ask yourself and be honest: are you really happy or are you just really comfortable?

Have a great week!

<3 Art

Get your vibration on!

Lately, I’m all about happiness. When I truly understood that happiness has NOTHING to do with external events, situations, circumstances, people and things, I could feel true happiness. It’s so liberating that I want to share this with people. If everyone could feel this way, what a world would we live in? This doesn’t mean that I never get sad, angry or frustrated. It just means that I’ve gotten better in not staying in that state. When you realize that emotions are just low and high vibrations that are helping you on the way to get what you want, my God, the whole universe opens up to serve you.

So let me break this down for you real quick. There are no negative and positive emotions, although we call them that to give them a meaning. Emotions are energy. It’s the way the Universe (higher self, God, whatever you want to call it) speaks to us. It’s really simple. When you experience emotions of high vibrations (happy, excited, grateful, kind, giving, caring), the Universe is telling you that you’re on the right path. Keep going and I’ll send you more things to be happy about, to feel grateful for and so on.

When you experience emotions of low vibration (anger, sadness, frustration, hate, resentment), theUniverse is telling you that you’re not on the right path. Turn around, you’re going the wrong way! If you keep going, I will send you more things to be angry about, sad about and so on. Eventually, I’ll even make you sick to wake you up.

This is not Universe being bad, this is not Universe punishing us. Universe doesn’t know good or bad, it doesn’t know what you want or don’t want. All that it’s doing is sending you back what you’re vibrating. It only knows answer YES. If you vibrate happiness and love, it will respond: “YES, so will it be! Here’s more of it!” If you vibrate sadness and anger, it will also respond: “YES, so will it be! Here’s more of it!”

So there is your superpower. You get to decide what you vibrate. Again, you see how powerful your thoughts are, for they produce your emotions, that produce vibration, that attracts more of that. If you worry, because you don’t have money, and your focus is on the lack of money, you vibrate frequency of ‘no money’, guess what you’ll get? No money!

So, can you attract specific things into your life? Yes, you can! You have to think about what you want, but FEEL as if you already have it. That way, you will align your vibration with the vibration of the reality that you want. Every doubt, uncertainty and fear will block this vibration (lower it). So it’s not really thoughts that create our reality, but our emotions. Thoughts are just tools to help you get specific emotions and you want them to be of high frequency. If you think about what you want, but your vibration is a ‘lack of it’, the universe will respond: “YES, here is lack of that what you want.”

Your ‘logical’ mind and your ego will try to prevent you from feeling like this. They’ll say: HOW? How are you going to get this, accomplish this, make this happen? They can’t think beyond logic and that’s what makes them limited. They’ll pull you to the lower vibration of fear and doubt and they’ll block you from getting what you want. Your spirit, your vibration has unlimited power, because it goes beyond logic. So this is kind of a “Fake it, ‘till you make it” method and it really works. Don’t wonder HOW something will happen, because I promise you, the Universe will respond to your vibration and it will perfectly align situations, people and ways to get you there. The most unexpected things will fall into place to serve you. All you have to do is believe and hold your vibration high!

 

This state of high vibration, where all of your dreams already are reality, is called Vortex. You can’t be in the Vortex all the time, but if you reach a momentum of that state on a regular basis, your dreams and wishes will manifest in your physical reality.

Focus on the good things in your life. Be grateful. Give attention only to good things, because energy flows where attention goes. Keep your vibes high and watch your life change!

Try this! It’s a game of life and it’s fun to play!

Have a great week!

Art <3

You are creators!

 

After about million hours of watching the best video’s, listening to the best teachers of our time, it’s safe to say I know a thing or two about this life and how the universe works. Looking back on my life and all the experiences I’ve been blessed with, especially the awful ones, I realize how many questions I can answer now, thanks to the knowledge that these people are providing.


The thing I most want to share, the one thing that everyone should know about and truly understand is the Law of Attraction. It’s controversial and ridiculed by many, but that entire skeptic outlook on this subject is just a lack of knowledge about it and misunderstanding its true function. You need to understand it and then you need to test it. Otherwise, you just can’t have an objective opinion about it and you shouldn’t talk about it. I’ve seen many explanations, discussions and attacks on this subject on the internet and it makes me scream, because people are talking about something they really don’t understand. They’re spreading the wrong information and trying to convince people that this is just a bunch of crap and you’re simply crazy if you believe something like this, obviously not knowing that this has nothing to do with crazy and has everything to do with science. It’s something that the biggest scientists of the world have been talking about for centuries.   


What I’ve learned and what I know for sure is that your belief will determine your life. Your thoughts will shape your reality. Your emotions are your guidance and the universe is always working for you, whether you believe this or not. We are the creators of our reality.
On the surface, this sounds easy to understand, but the meaning behind this is so much deeper than you could ever grasp from just these few sentences. You have to educate yourself about this on a deeper and more profound level.


So what is this Law of Attraction really and how can you use it so it will serve you. You can start by watching ‘The Secret’ first, but believe me, that’s only the tip of the iceberg. It’s just some basis info to basically introduce you to the Law of Attraction. After that, I strongly recommend you watch some video’s of Abraham Hicks (yes, it’s a woman), Brian Tracy, Bob Proctor, Louise Hay, Jack Canfield, Jim Rohn and Wayne Dyer (just to name a few)… Don’t believe ANYTHING, just be open to it and test it yourself! I have and still am every day.


I want to be perfectly clear about one thing. I don’t want to convince people of the Law of Attraction or debate this in any way. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and everyone has their own perspective. I am here to talk about how the Law of Attraction works, to inspire people and spread the good vibes!


So, I’ll leave you with this for now and of course I’ll be writing about this a lot in my next blogs.


Have a great week!


Art <3

Hello 2017!

New Year, new resolutions!


I can imagine that the calendar gives a lot of people a sense of a new beginning, so it seems like the perfect time to start something new, quit bad habits and change something you've been wanting, but it just wasn't a convenient time (it never really is!) 


Too bad that 95% of people flush their resolutions down the toilet after 2 weeks. About January 15th, it's over and done with the resolutions. Why is that and what does it take to make it through?


First, you have to realize that change is not what we strive for. Change is constant and inevitable. What we really strive for is progress. So when you make a resolution, it has to provide you some progress. It has to be so exciting, so compelling, so attractive that it will PULL you towards it, instead of that you have to PUSH yourself to reach it. PUSH requires willpower and sooner or later, willpower will fail you. PULL is energy that will get you through times when you want to give up.


So let me take you through 3 steps you'll need to reach your goals.


Step 1 is VISION: You have to have vision of what you want. Not what you "kind of" or "maybe" want. What do you really want?? What makes you get up in the morning? What keeps you awake at night? Be as specific as you can and write it down! For example, instead of "I want to lose some weight", write: "I want to lose 10 kg by March 31st". Set an exact number and give yourself a deadline. See yourself already there. Envision yourself in that state. Feel what it would feel like at that finish line!


Step 2 is REASON: You have to have strong enough reason why you want this. What is the REAL reason? It's never the goal itself. It's always the FEELING that it will give you. People don't want a house; they want a feeling of security. People don't want a fast car; they want status. People don't want to lose weight; they want to feel attractive or healthy. There is some feeling you're after. People try to fill their void with things, but that works only for a moment. Be honest! What is the real reason and will it pull you?

Step 3 is REVIEW: You got to review it and feel it every day! You need to think about it and you have to already be there in your mind. Turn your 'should' into 'must'. People don't do what they 'should', but they always do what they 'must'. Raise your standards! Change the story you're telling yourself that keeps you from getting what you want. If you want to quit smoking, but your story is "I've been a smoker my whole life", you will never quit. If you want to lose weight, but your story is "I've tried everything, I'm just big-boned", you'll never lose weight. You're not big-boned, you're fat and lazy! Your story should be: I'm athletic, attractive and healthy! If that's your story and your standard, you'll find a way to make it happen.

So, there you go! Have a vision that's compelling, strong enough reason and tell a story that will get you there, but feel as if you're already there!

May this year be full of success and happiness!

Art <3

My first blog

So I finally decided to write my first blog and I'm so excited. I've been writing since I was a little girl. I wrote in my diaries, I wrote many songs and poems. I wrote stories and hopes, prayers and goals. At one point, I even tried to write a book, but it hasn't been exactly what I wanted, so I never finished, but I'll probably get back to that when the time is right. Writing has always been one of my personal therapies. Besides that, my head is always full of things I want to say, things I'd love to share, so I have to put them on 'paper' to make some space in my ongoing mind.


I love to share my experiences, my thoughts, my feelings. My friends know me as a dreamer, so I'm always up there in the sky, lost in my thoughts, trying to figure out so many things about life, about people. Why do people do what they do, why do they feel the way they feel and why everyone responds differently to different things. Dying to know that and my endless curiosity for human nature brought me to take online class for life coaching. Studying coaching parallel with my own soul searching and spiritual awakening, awakened even more desire and curiosity for people and life itself.

 
After a while I took another class in NLP (neuro-linguistic programming). That one really cleared up one thing for me: this is more than just an interest, this is becoming my passion.
Helping people, opening their hearts and minds, changing their perspective and opening a door to a peaceful and more meaningful life is what I'd truly love to do.

 
Unfortunately, a lot of time passed and I really haven’t done anything yet, because of my own personal life challenges and things that I had to deal with along the way. Looking back, I think maybe I had to experience so much heartache, pain and wild rides to become a better coach when I’m finally ready. I learned so much and I’m thankful for everything that has happened, for it taught me things that made me strong and more determent than ever, that I will leave this planet better, as big or as small that might be. If I touch just one heart, change just one life for better, my existence will mean something.

 
So now I think I’m ready. Being like I am, silly and open, honest and sarcastic, I will try to keep my blogs interesting, funny and truthful. I’ll share my personal struggles, things I see around me, important subjects and random silly stuff.

 
Join me on this exciting journey and pass the positive vibes, for we’re all in this together, we are all ONE. I hope you’ll learn, laugh and cry, but most of all, I hope you’ll be inspired and motivated to ask yourself hard questions, find courage to be vulnerable and find strength to turn things around.

 

Art <3