Overcoming judgement!

As I’m trying to be as conscious as I can in my attempt to observe and explain people’s behavior, keeping in mind that the judgement is never coming from a spiritual and conscious place, it’s inventible to conclude that we have 2 parts of ourselves: The Higher-self coming from source energy and the Earthly-self coming from ego. To remain spiritual and sane at the same time during our stay in this space-time reality, especially sharing space with others, it’s very crucial to understand the difference between those two ‘selves’. The higher-self part of us is the extension of the one and the same source energy that we’re all coming from, which make us all one and the same, in other words ‘equal’. The Earthly-self on the other hand, which has a body, personality and a lot of opinions, based on different backgrounds and experiences, make us all different or in other words ‘unique’.

Having this said, you can conclude that people who are (trying to be) spiritual are not eager to judge, because they mostly observe things from Higher-self, understanding that we’re all the same and that everything external is a reflection of self. Judging others would equal judging yourself or the things that exist in you that you recognize in others. That’s why it’s always being said that people who judge others do so because they have very little to no self-esteem and are highly insecure. Having this need to put others down is a direct reflection of what they hold within themselves. I must add that ‘putting others down’ is not the same as having certain preference or taste, where you find something or someone more or less attractive, intelligent, valuable etc. Judging is always being done by Earthly-self, because it has ego which needs to survive. Earthly-self cannot survive without ego, but the Higher-self, if trained, can control it by understanding its purpose and value.

Understanding fellow ‘Earthlings’ without judgement is very easily being done by Higher-self, but because we live in this physical space-time reality, where we have ‘Earthly’ rules, norms and values, we are kind of expected and even responsible to ‘judge’ what we think it’s a bad behavior, because otherwise we would ‘justify’ or ‘approve’ it. In this case it’s very important to realize that we can be conscious enough to understand someone’s bad behavior without justifying it. We can’t give a free-pass to people who do or say bad things, but we can ‘judge’ a behavior without judging a persona.

So when you have the need (and ‘have the need’ is a key statement) to ‘judge’ someone’s look, intelligence, opinion, occupation, personal-preferences etc., that’s coming from ego and lack of emotional intelligence. However, if you ‘judge’ someone’s bad behavior, comments and judgements where you put yourself in a protective position of the ‘judged’, that’s, in my opinion, a whole other story. Although, this is also not objective, as we all have a different definition of what’s ‘good’ or ‘bad’, so you can surely expect a judgmental comeback. As you find yourself passing a judgement, ask yourself: “What was my drive or intention to make such judgement?” If it’s not a protection of morally based values, it’s most likely your own insecurity and fear. This is exactly why you shouldn’t worry if you’re the one being judged by someone else, because it’s often their own struggle with themselves.

Always remember that truly successful, beautiful, intelligent and fulfilled people have absolutely no need to judge anyone. Those people will always do one of the two things: They will either help you rise OR they won’t care about you at all. This doesn’t mean that there are people who never judge, because as I said earlier, ego has to survive and we ALL judge, but if you stay conscious about it and keep monitoring your feelings towards others, along with the ability and will to understand where those feelings are coming from, you’ll create space to keep working on yourself and to grow.

There will always be people who need to put others down in order to have some sense of self-value, self-worth or gain a feeling of superiority. You can especially see that kind of arrogance in people who perceive themselves as highly intelligent, therefore in their eyes entitled to a certain high position in society, but that’s just another mask of their own insecurities, probably from unresolved childhood trauma’s. So to finish this with a little hypocrite and humor based statement: you can be a doctor, a writer, a scientist, a professor, a supermodel, a Nobel prize winner… hell, you can be the president of the United States and still be an idiot! 🤷🏻‍♀️

This was written by my Earthy judgemental self 😉

Love always,

Art <3

 

Hét virus van de aarde: de mens!

Ik schrijf mijn blog altijd in het Engels, maar deze blog wordt een Nederlandstalig special edition! 

In deze corona tijd zijn we allemaal een beetje van het padje af. Dat er twee ‘kampen’ zijn ontstaan die constant in een clinch liggen is al lang duidelijk, maar wat ik vooral merk is dat mensen zo extreem ver gaan in hun overtuigingen, dat ze zichzelf en iedereen om zich heen compleet gek maken. Of ze nou bang zijn voor het virus zelf of voor de grote enge mensen achter de schermen die ons van onze vrijheid willen beroven, het feit is dat angst en stress compleet overheersen en mensen drijven tot waanzin. Zo erg zelfs, dat ze de realiteit totaal uit het oog verliezen. Als je vraagt naar de essentie van de extremisme, kijk niet verder, want het is overal om je heen. Aan welke 'kant' je ook staat, het neemt niet weg dat je leeft in een overlevingsmodus, wat je waarschijnlijk eerder je leven gaat kosten dan welk virus dan ook.

Er zijn eindeloze discussies die voornamelijk niets anders opleveren dan frustratie en ego trips om eigen "gelijk" te bewijzen en anderen te overtuigen van eigen overtuigingen. Het is eigenlijk te rampzalig voor woorden hoe mensen met elkaar omgaan en geen plaats maken voor betekenisvolle argumenten en mogelijke oplossingen. Die geen kans geven aan meerdere bronnen van nuttige informatie en alleen maar accepteren datgene wat hun eigen mening bevestigt. Zodra er iets is wat niet helemaal aansluit bij hun eigen visie, wordt het klakkeloos afgewezen en belachelijk gemaakt. Dat geeft ze waarschijnlijk een vals gevoel van eigenwaarde en superioriteit. 

Je moet je eigen stem maar zien te vinden in een zee van meningen en theorieën, van dubieuze journalisten en online "influencers" tot alleswetende “filantropen” zoals Bill Gates, dat geen artsen noch wetenschappers zijn. Dat ze rijk zijn en veel hebben bereikt betekent niet dat ze ook te vertrouwen zijn en het beste met de mensheid voor hebben. Mensen met zoveel macht en geld kunnen je werkelijk alles laten geloven en je laten twijfelen aan je eigen ogen en oren. Vergeet nooit dat het geld de grootste en belangrijkste rol speelt in alles en dat het altijd een prioriteit blijft, zelfs boven mensenlevens.

Dat bewijst duidelijk ook ons oranje vriendje Donald Trump en zijn aanhangers die echt geloven dat hij een uitverkorene held is die undercover werkt om de mensheid te redden. Daarbij heb je ook nog QAnon beweging...nou ja, eerder een science fiction based cult, die enger en gevaarlijker is dan alle virussen en Trumps bij elkaar. Ja, het is zeer moeilijk om door al het geld, profijt en fake news van alle kanten heen te kijken, maar ondertussen overheersen momenteel de depressie, angst en onzekerheid vele levens. 

MAAR, niet alles hoeft zo zwart te zijn. De natuur is even 'op adem gekomen' doordat de grootste virus op aarde, de mens, zich even teruggetrokken heeft. Als je het over een “reset” hebt is dit een hele positieve. En we hoeven niet naar “oud normaal”, want veel dingen waren niet goed en nu hebben we een kans om het anders te doen. Beter te doen. We hebben meer tijd voor persoonlijke ontwikkeling, belangrijke lessen en zelfreflectie. Wat hebben we om dankbaar voor te zijn en wat willen we nog veranderen en bereiken? We hebben tijd om ons voor te bereiden voor een betere toekomst op het moment dat de huidige situatie verleden tijd is. Gebruik deze tijd om aan jezelf te werken en laat andere mensen in hun eigen waarde. 

We weten misschien niet hoe lang dit allemaal gaat duren, maar we weten wel dat het leven hoe dan ook doorgaat. Het is aan ons om dit leven dan zo goed mogelijk te navigeren en in te vullen, ondanks de omstandigheden. Neem je verantwoordelijkheid om voor jezelf te zorgen en zo gezond mogelijk te leven. Laat je leven niet alleen maar om corona draaien, want zo ga je zelf doordraaien. 

Laat je niets wijsmaken en kies geen 'kanten'. Veroordeel niets en niemand, want het leven heeft een gewoonte om je uiteindelijk compleet voor lul te zetten. Kies voor de gulden middenweg en neem alles met een korreltje zout, want het enige waar je 100% zeker van kunt zijn in dit geval is dat er niets is waar je 100% zeker van kunt zijn. 

Love, 

Art

Death lessons!

What a week this has been… Damn! I just need a moment to spit it all out on paper.

So, about a month ago, I met a man who was also fighting a brain tumor. He came by with his wife to pick up something I arranged for him. Such beautiful and kind people. 4 days ago his wife sent me a sad message that he didn’t make it… Although I saw him just once in my life, it made such a big impact on me. It all happened so fast, you don’t even have time to grasp the fine line between life and death. Maybe you don’t even want to. He left a beautiful wife and two little kids behind… My heart goes out to them.  

Then yesterday, the whole world lost a legend, Kobe Bryant. Such an inspiration as a sportsman, dedicated father and kind soul. He took his little girl with him, but left other three and his wife behind. So you see, the death is always lurking and maybe just a few breaths ahead of you. You can have an illness or be the most healthy, young, rich and famous… Death doesn’t care. It can take you any second.

So why are we always waiting for something or someone to be happy? How are we spending our time? Postponing our plans and dreams. Saving stuff for special occasions. Settling for less than we want or deserve. Stressing about stupid things. Judging. Blaming. Wasting time. Competing. OMG, the competing... Who’s making more money? Who’s taking better selfies? What bitches wear longer fake lashes and what assholes are better at being assholes? 

How ‘bout we compete with our past selves? Have you learned something new? Gained some new perspective? Have you helped someone? Have you done something for other people, animals, environment, kids? The sick and the poor? Have you pulled your stupid head out of your ass and looked around for one second? Have you inspired or motivated anyone? Have you stopped being so self-absorbed and done anything that people would actually applaud and appreciate when the death comes for you?

It’s not about how many people would mourn you, because, let’s be honest, life goes on and so does the mourning. But will they remember your deeds, your words, your kindness, your example? Will they ever think of you in their own life struggles and gain hope and strength because of something you've said or done that kept lingering in their mind?

So, while you’re still here, tell people you love them. Support strangers who are trying. Offer your hand, your smile. Give a random compliment just to make someone’s day better. Like the damn selfie of an insecure girl who only has two likes, which of course says absolutely nothing about her, but she thinks it does. Pet a dog. Help an elderly. Listen...truly listen, you might learn something new. Be kind and remember: It's the good people who do nothing that make the bad guys win! 

Love,

Art <3

Breaking through limitations!

When you get diagnosed with any serious 'illness', the docs tend to scare the shit out of you and they're not about to give you any room to doubt them. According to them, I am now labeled as a 'cancer patient' for the rest of my life. It's a real challenge to stand up to that and not be led by fear. BUT, I wouldn't be me if I would silently take what's served in front of me, if I don't like it!

So, according to me, I am healthier than I've ever been and have more drive for life than ever before. I also feel very blessed to have this opportunity to prove them wrong and fight for the TRUTH which will help people to find the power within and heal.

First of all, get to know yourself first! Your beliefs, your fears, your trauma's. Get naked and strip down all of it. You'll realize that the half of that shit isn't even yours to start with. It's your parents, your friends, your teachers, your neighbours, the media, the society... Recognize all the weight they put on you that you don't have to carry.

Change your beliefs, dance with your fears and learn from your trauma's. Set your soul free from your body and then, the healing can start. You'll know who you are, where you're from and where you want to go. Different paths, oportunities and people will show up and you'll know which ones to follow and which ones to avoid. You'll know by the feeling of it. Trust that. Love will lead you to health, happiness and prosperity. It will lead you to everything you've ever wanted and you'll be blown away, wondering in awe.

So, I'm embracing this time with confidence and gratitude. I got to know myself on a deeper level and found out I'm more of a badass than I ever thought I could be. I'm living mindfully and creating space of freedom and passion for life. Looking at the world with a new perception and appreciating every second filled with love and connection.
 
There's not a doctor in this world who will tell me anything about ME or predict my future. Only I can tell you about me and my future, because only I can create it. My decisions will not be made out of fear. They'll be made out of love. Love for life and love for love, 'cause one thing is for sure: I am not done with loving and I'm certainly not done with living.

Have a lovely monday!

Love, Art <3

My path to recovery!

The reason I'm writing this post is pure, authentic and from the heart. I wasn't sure if I should share this publicly (yet), but because I'm seeing the bigger picture and understand the contrasts and their meaning, I know I'm supposed to write this. If it helps even just one person, in the smallest way possible, it will be more than worth it. Everything is exactly as it should be...

About 2 months ago I was diagnosed with a brain tumour. At first, my whole world collapsed and the only thing I could think of is my fear, the grief of my family and friends and death. I couldn't sleep or even grasp the heaviness of my new reality.
But then suddenly, I came to my senses... I mean, I just wrote this book called "The secret of a happy life", explaining to people how to overcome anything. How to change their lives, by changing their thinking and their beliefs. Talking about vibrations, law of attraction, responsibility for our own realities, reprogramming our brain... Something I so deeply believed in, now I'm doubting. It's easy to talk about being positive and jolly when everything's fine, but how do you do that when your whole world shatters? Well, you can! If you choose to see the situation from a different perspective. If you give it another meaning!

So I did... This is a test! This is my chance to prove everything I believe in is true.  Not only to other people, but to myself as well. This is a chance to help more people. This is a chance to learn, grow and overcome.

My fear turned into gratitude. My doubt turned into determination. My "illness" turned into clarity and true meaning, which is: you are stronger than you think. It's just a sign. It's just a push into the right direction.

I'm having a surgery in exactly 2 weeks, but they told me they won't be able to remove all of it. I told them I can. And I will. Because I always do what I say. I'm not focused on my "illness", because I'm not ill. I have a condition which I created myself by making poor decisions. Now I'm focused on my health by making new and better decisions. You can not heal in the same environment you got sick in.

If you feel stuck in any way, if you have health issues, weight issues, ANY issues that you want to change. If you need inspiration and motivation to move forward and overcome anything that doesn't serve you, follow me on my path to full recovery and let's grow and heal together!

Much love!

Art <3

How I manifested my new home

I just moved into my new home, which I 100% believe I manifested myself and I couldn’t be happier. The way this all played out is pretty amazing, so I had to share my story… I hope it will inspire and motivate you to do the work and also start manifesting amazing things in your life!

I wanted to move for some time and I knew exactly what I wanted. An awesome new house, with a back yard in a beautiful, safe and peaceful neighborhood. Comfortable, but affordable. You hear often: you can’t have it ALL, but I wouldn’t settle for less. When you believe that you are the creator of your own reality, you can manifest anything. I still struggle with unconscious beliefs that keep me from manifesting, but this one went easy and I know why. I didn’t HAVE to move. I was already happy where I was. There was no NEED, there was no desperation.

On January 1st 2018, I wrote 5 things that I wanted to accomplish in 2018. One of the 5 was ‘to move’. I even joked that we would celebrate the next New Year in my new house. I acted as if I knew for sure that this would happen. I was already looking for new interior ideas and thinking about how I would decorate.

In April, I started scripting. I wanted to pick one topic, which wasn’t loaded with strong desire and desperation and that was a new home. I wanted to test this method of manifesting and the whole ‘Law of attraction’ in general. The more you manifest, the more you believe, the more you believe, the more you manifest. This is a cycle you want to get into. So start with something not that important to you.

So what is scripting? It’s writing a story of your desires, dreams and wishes that you want to manifest in the NOW, as if they’re already accomplished. You write how happy and grateful you are for those things as if you already have them. That’s the idea of the whole scripting method. It’s about getting into the high vibration state and then, of course, letting it go. Do NOT attach the outcome to your vibration. Just let the Universe do its job and believe that it will if you butt out. If you want to know about other manifesting methods, read my past blog about it.

The odds to get a house I wanted were pretty small, but only 4 months later, I found the perfect home. The only ‘problem was’, there were 7 other candidates that wanted it. I kept my belief, but was totally fine with the idea of NOT getting it. They all pulled back for different reasons and the house was mine. That’s how the Universe works. It will rearrange situations, people and timeline to serve you. If you only believe and expect that it will. It’s fun to play this game of life and I hope you’ll get on board!

Love,

Art <3

My manifestation methods

Everyone who's living the 'law of attraction' knows there are a lot of ways and methods you can use to manifest your desires. You have to use the ones that you feel most comfortable with. You probably have to try a bunch of them to figure out which ones work the best for you. This is different for everyone, so what works for someone else, might not work for you and vice versa.
I have to point out that it's not the method that isn't working, but it's always your vibes and beliefs about it that block you from manifesting.

For me, affirmations and 'acting as if' are the best ones. Affirmations because you're reprogramming your beliefs, which are the most important in the whole process. What is a belief? Just something you've heard and repeated enough times for your mind to accept as the truth. When you're aware of this you can consciously choose your affirmations to change your beliefs and let them work in your favor, because what you really believe deep down is what will manifest in your reality.

'Acting as if' is also the perfect way to get aligned with the frequency of your desire and that way 'attract' the desired reality. I use the quotation marks when I write 'attract' , because we all know by now that you're not attracting anything to you (because the reality you want already exists), but you're aligning with that reality. The most important thing in all of this is of course the way you feel. You don't really 'act as if', but you have to 'feel as if'. How would you feel if you would live the reality that you want? Hold onto that feeling as long as you can, without wondering when and how it's going to happen, because when you really believe in something and you don't doubt it, that means you expect it to happen and don't have to wonder when and how. You know it's coming and just feel that anticipation.

There's another method that I recently discovered. Actually, I knew the method, but didn't know it has an official name: scripting! Also, a great way to raise your vibration and manifest the things you want. It's 'acting as if' on paper. You write everything you want in present tense, as if it's already happening now, but always linking your emotion to it. When you write about what you 'have' (desire), you write how you feel about it. For example, if you desire a specific job, you'd write: "I feel happy, proud and accomplished when I go to my dream job. It doesn't feel like a job, because I love doing it. This job that I've dreamed about for so long makes me feel confident and independent..." etc. You're literally scripting your life and creating your future.

And last on my list, but definitely not least: gratitude! You have to be grateful for everything that you already have. Grateful heart is a magnet for miracles. Always, always keep your focus on the things you have and are grateful for. When you're grateful, you can't feel negative emotions. Gratitude always gives you an opportunity to escape negative thoughts. Whenever you feel down for whatever reason, bring your focus back on gratitude.

So there you have it: MY list of manifestation methods that work for ME. There are many more and you can look them up on the internet. Be curious, try them out and have fun. When you find the ones that work for you, practice to make them a habit in your daily life. Your life will change completely.

Much love,

Art <3

Life is nothing without passion!

Opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. Opposite of success is not failure, it’s indifference. Opposite of knowledge is not ignorance, it’s indifference. Opposite of beautiful is not ugly, it’s indifference. If you ask me, indifference is the WORST possible personality trait. That doesn’t sound very ‘spiritual’, but OMG, I can’t stand indifference. Mostly because I don’t really believe it. It’s fake and dishonest.

You know those people who never really get hot or cold about anything. Always kind of ‘aight’. Always under control, always grounded. People who never get SUPER happy or SUPER sad. People who are always ‘fine’. But what does ‘fine’ really mean? If you’re just fine with your job and fine with your relationship and fine with your life, you are NOT fine! Fine is not good enough. Fine is mediocre. Fine is settling. Fine is lazy. Fine is being dead, because dead people are fine. No problems, no possessions, no challenges, no feelings… JUST FINE!

 

People settle all the time. I don’t like my job, but I’m fine. My partner does not give me what I want or need, but we’re fine. I want more time for myself, but it’s fine. I want more money, but I can pay my bills so it’s fine. Fine is an excuse to not move ahead. Fine is a mask that covers up your pain and frustration. You don’t want to be fine. You want to be excited and happy and pinching yourself because your life is so damn awesome that you feel like you’re dreaming. And when something bad happens, you don’t want to be fine either. You want to be angry and sad and scream it all out. You absolutely don’t want to stay in that state, but you have to feel it and experience it, to be able to let it go and move on. Otherwise, you’ll just be fine…

 

Why is it so hard for people to express themselves? What is it that makes them feel that ‘fine’ is the top of the scale? When did they lose that childlike joy? It makes me sad to see people who are taken over by their jobs, partners, kids, responsibilities. People who are taken over by life. There’s so much more than fine. You don’t owe yourself to anyone and you are not put here to feel anything less than extraordinary.

Your passion matters, for it will lead you to your purpose! You probably heard this a million times, but you ignore it because you believe that your time is yet to come. Someday. In the future. When you’re done with your everyday responsibilities and other people’s needs. When you’re less busy. When you have more time. And money. And energy. Don’t you know that that time will never come? Your time is NOW. Your dreams matter now. Your desires matter now. Your needs matter now. You matter NOW!

 

So let’s talk passion!  Have you forgotten about it? That strong and uncontrollable feeling that sets your soul on fire! Remember? That feeling of not only butterflies in your gut, but the whole damn zoo! When you think about it, it’s like you’re floating. So what is it? I’m not talking about people! I’m not talking about soul mates or your kids! I’m talking about YOU! Your dreams, your desires. Things that make you feel pure ecstasy. Things that define your soul. Things that connect you with the whole universe, because in that very moment, you can feel that you’re the extension of it. PASSION. Pure and raw and honest. That, my dear, is life itself. Find it, feel it, live it!

Love, Art <3

Spiritual beauty!

Like the most of us, I’m often watching videos on YouTube, mostly searching to learn something new. I came across this girl who was vlogging about spirituality. She was answering her viewer’s questions and she was asked about her thoughts on spirituality and physical appearance. Apparently, there are (a lot of) people who think that spirituality and caring about how you look don’t really go together. After all, if you’re ‘spiritual’, it’s all about the inside and not the outside. If you’re becoming your higher self, there is no place for superficial things like our mortal ‘shell’ we call our body… right? Being a total make-up freak and fashion lover myself, this is how I see it:

We can all agree by now that we’re all ONE. We are all equal and coming from the same source of energy. Yet we live in this material and physical world. That is our reality in the NOW. We have all these ‘things’ we get to use in this lifetime on earth. Does that mean we shouldn’t be using them, because we’re more than our physical selves? Of course not! The point of being here on earth is to experience everything that this world offers. We are spiritual beings, having a human experience. What is a human experience? Everything you get to experience with your 5 senses. Isn’t that the greatest gift and the whole point of existing in this reality?

So we have our bodies to experience in all kinds of different ways. One of them is to make it look a certain way. Like an avatar in a videogame. We have clothes and make-up and shoes and jewelry and hairdo’s and colors and fabrics and materials that we can freely use to play and experiment with, enjoy, create and experience. Isn’t that the highest expression of your humanly existence? It’s not hiding or changing yourself like the most people perceive this. It’s enjoying all different sides of yourself.

It’s like having a house that you get to paint in different colors and decorate it with different objects. You have all these different styles that you get to choose from and make it your ‘own’. It reflects who you are. If you get bored with it, you try something else, buy something new and redecorate it. Maybe change your wall color or replace your country kitchen with a modern one. Why is it ok to make your home ‘pretty’ and not your body? It’s simply expressing who you are and how you feel. It’s about being creative.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong or ‘unspiritual’ with taking care of your appearance. You’re not any less spiritual if you also look good and take care of yourself.  Even if you change something about yourself, it doesn’t make you less ‘you’. It’s just another possibility of you. Like losing and gaining weight or changing your hair color. It’s still you in another form. If people perceive you as an unspiritual airhead because you look a certain way, know they’re much further away from spirituality than they even realize. Being spiritual also means minding your own business.

You have one body and one face. Embrace it, enjoy it, be creative with it, love it! It’s the only thing that makes you unique and different. It’s the only thing that will carry you ‘till the last moment of this human experience. Cherish it!

<3 Art

Meaningless opinions!

I must say this spiritual awakening is working out pretty well for me. Looking back on the past few months, I’ve come a long way. When at first, I was just reading, listening and discussing about it, now it’s clear I’ve been living it. I feel such peace and contentment. I’m just so grateful and blissful…just really FULL. Full of life and love and light. After all the meditating, reading, thinking and learning, I’m able to keep myself on the high flying disc. Not in need of anything or anyone, just being in the flow of life. I love every little bit of who I’m becoming.

So, I’ve been playing this fun little game lately and it blew me away. I was paying attention to what other people talk about most, including myself. Here’s what I’ve found.

People who are not happy and don’t really love themselves or their lives, and sadly that’s the majority of people, talk mostly about 2 things: their problems (complaining) and other people (judging). I’ve been listening to complete strangers on the bus, on the beach, in the bar… you name it. 90% of those people talked about one or the other.

I can’t say I was surprised, but it was definitely an eye opening. Actually a mind opening. I used to care what people thought of me. Things I said, things I did. Would I hurt anyone? Would someone get mad at me? But as I was listening to these people, I realized: most of you don’t even like yourselves. You have this need to judge so you’d feel better. Your happiness relies completely on other people’s behavior. They have to act, behave and think a certain way for you to be happy. How sad is that really? If other people don’t meet your expectations, you’ll be mad and sad and not sleep and worry and hate and judge and be bitter and upset… If you have nothing else in your life to focus on, be thankful for, be happy about, be proud of, celebrate…wow! How could I possibly care about what such person thinks of me?

So I just stopped. I didn’t feel guilty anymore for having fun. For dancing and singing and drinking and laughing and painting and writing and being silly and immature and crazy and lazy. Because I’m living! Fully and completely. Not relying on anyone. Not attached to anything. Taking those steps towards all of my dreams, without fear and regret. Being mindful of my conversation with others and myself, but very well aware of my own ego popping up for a fix. It’s all a part of this beautiful journey towards your true self.

And now, after all this soul searching, aha-moments and light bulbs, this is what I know for sure:

The truth as a fact doesn’t exist. Two people can be looking at the same thing, but see completely two different things. They’re both right in their own reality, in their own truth. That’s because NOTHING has any meaning until someone gives it a meaning. Your meaning doesn’t have to be someone else’s and vice versa. Thank God for that, because that means that YOU get to choose the meaning of EVERYTHING in your life. If that’s not a gift of creating your own life, I don’t know what is.
An opinion is just a perspective, built on personal experiences, programs, trauma’s, thoughts and feelings. That means that an opinion is NEVER objective. Including your own. When you truly realize this, you will talk, listen and live in a completely new way... and you will love it! And as for me: oh, sweet freedom of other people’s opinions!

Love,

Art <3

Signs on the road!

Someone once told me: “The bad news is that time flies. The good news is that you’re the pilot.” In the midst of maintaining my sanity, although I heard that, I wasn’t ready to truly live it. I flew to the wrong direction, navigated by fear. Universe has a funny way of creating situations and sending signs on our way to deliver us important messages. Sadly, we’re not always ready to receive it or we simply miss it by thinking that everything is a coincidence. It’s not and you need to pay attention.

We now know that there’s no such thing as ‘negative’ emotions, just emotions of low vibration. We call them contrasts. When you reach a deeper understanding of this, you’ll realize that contrast is a part of creation. It’s just information. It’s an alarm going off for you to pay attention. It’s an arrow pointing to the opposite direction, because if you feel bad, you’re going the wrong way. It’s a sign that you are not in an alignment with who you truly are. Unfortunately, the ego will always try to convince you otherwise. Anytime you find an excuse or an explanation of why you feel bad, it’s your ego speaking. When you learn to silence your ego and just follow the directions your emotions are showing you, the right path will unfold and it will lead you where you want to be.

The universe is sending us signs all the time. Everything you see, hear, touch, sense, taste and feel is telling you something. It’s always information you need, to get where you want to be. Whenever something “bad” happens, you can have an opinion about it, judge it, reject it, be upset or sad about it, but what you really need to ask yourself instead is: what is this here to teach me? What sign, what message, what information is this providing for me to get ahead? When you train your mind to think like this, all “bad” things will disappear. You’ll change your perspective on it and realize there is no such thing as a “bad thing”, just information you ALWAYS benefit from.

People will do anything to avoid bad stuff from happening. We’ve been trained and warned from birth that bad things happen and we should be afraid. All the things that could possibly go wrong, it’s all we think about and trying to avoid. Not realizing 2 things: we think about “bad” things, therefore we attract them and “bad” things are not really bad. We’re more afraid of the fear itself, than the very thing we think we’re afraid of. We’re not afraid of ‘the thing’, we’re afraid of what comes next: judgment, disappointment, rejection, FAILURE!  

You really have a simple job in this life: relax, feel good and follow the signs given to you. Fear is an illusion. Just like reality. Reality is in the eye of the beholder. Choose yours!

Have a great weekend!

Art <3

New kids on the block!

Ok, so maybe I’m not the one with the best parenting advice. I’ve made a lot of mistakes. On the other hand, I’m admitting something that A LOT of parents wouldn’t dare. Sure, we all do the best we can and the best we know how, but what I’ve come to realize is that there’s just no ‘right way’. There is, however, the wrong way.

We get these creatures, with no manual and no instructions. They’re all so unique and different. How in the world can there be the right way? Or the only way? And almost every ‘right way’ has its cons. If you compliment them too much, they’ll be arrogant and lazy. If you don’t, they’ll be insecure and afraid. This goes pretty much for everything. So how do you create balance and where do you draw the line?

They’re expected to perform as soon as they’re born. Every development has to be bigger, faster, better. They have to learn everything fast and yesterday is not soon enough. They have to behave and shut up. They’re expected to act, think, feel, talk, behave and be how society wants them to. Don’t question authority, follow the rules, do what you’re told and become this robot we all are.  

Children are the closest to the source. They’re more awake than we are. They know that this society we live in just won’t cut it. They protest and they challenge us to change the game. I don’t think today’s kids are bad. It’s parents who try to relive their lives through their kids. They push them to fight the battles they lost. They let them compete and measure their worth by accomplishments. They go to school, play sports, have trainings, dance, play an instrument, swim… because, if you want to be accepted and feel worthy, you have to do it all and know it all. Let people see how involved of a parent I am and let my kids show off their prizes, cups, medals and reports. Failure is not an option and second best is just not good enough. We’re killing them with stress and pressure, so we can feel proud and have a sense of accomplishment. Of course we created depressed monsters! Of course the boys are on drugs and the girls prostitute themselves for a little bit of attention by the time they’re 14.

I hear people nagging all the time: “Oh these kids today! This youth is impossible!” Really?  Like they’re all these monsters that we need to get under control. But it’s us. It’s us that need to get ourselves under control. It’s our uncontrollable ego that holds our kids responsible for our happiness. They become the reason for our existence and that’s an unfair burden for them to carry. It should never ever be our intention to turn them into some version of ourselves we wish we could be. They already know who they are and don’t need us to define them. We are merely there to help them become the best they can be, by being the best we can be.

Let them play, let them breathe, let them ask and question and debate and feel and grow! Let them speak their minds and make mistakes. Let them learn how to cope with emotions and other people and themselves. Let them learn how to be happy, compassionate and kind. Let them learn how to love and support and appreciate. Don’t push your fears upon them. Those are your own doubts and insecurities and past experiences and everything you think it’s wrong with the world. What’s really wrong with the world are fake standards and wrong priorities. It’s how we define beauty, happiness and success. We have to redefine these things and demonstrate the good and the positive and the happy. Teach them to be good people, because that’s the only thing worth any pride. Just be the best example you can be and for God’s sake, let them be who they are. They’ll be just fine!

Have a great week!

Art <3

Believe it. It's coming!

Listening to Abraham Hicks almost every day, I now get that our only job is to keep our vibrations high as often as possible. That takes a lot of practice and understanding. We’re here merely to experience, so even if you’re going through some tough times, the best thing to do is to sit with it and realize it’s just a contrast that you can turn into something valuable. At times of contrast, you rocket a desire for something better. Without it, we wouldn’t really know what we want. It’s there to serve you.

When you’re aware of this, it all begins to make much more sense. Some time ago, I experienced a situation where I was yelled at, but I was so aware of the moment that I handled it much differently than I normally would. At that moment, instead of yelling back or defending myself, an image popped in my head: someone was talking to me in the most calm and respectful way and made me laugh. I couldn’t help but smile. I realized that this was the whole point of “bad” situations. It’s not a lessen or a punishment. It’s just a chance to ask for something different.

You can use pleasant memories or imagine anything you’d like, as long as it gives you a sensation of joy. You become aware of how you want to feel and what kind of situations and people you want to be surrounded by. The moment you realize this, it will change your life. You’ll start to see every contrast as a tool and feel differently about it. It will get you to the next level and closer to where you want to be.

Do whatever you can to keep your vibrations high. Practice this on a daily basis and each time, the feeling will last longer. Focus on the good. Be aware of everything you’re grateful for. Think about it. Be happy about it. Do things that make you feel good, whatever that might be to you. From listening to music and dancing to simply enjoying a delicious lunch. Be proud of everything you’ve accomplished so far. Appreciate things and people you have. Laugh.    

So here's a quick rampage to get your vibes up, at least for today:

You’re safe. You’re always on the right path. There are no mistakes and no coincidences. Universe is always working out for you. You’re the one giving it all the directions. Everything you ever asked for is already there. You already have all of it. You just have to tune in. Don’t doubt, don’t second guess, don’t obsess about it. If it’s not coming, it means you’re focused on the lack of it. Let it go and trust that it’s coming. Because it is. It’s done and it’s coming. You’re pregnant with all of your desires. You just have to give birth. Don’t let your mind and logic stand in the way. You don’t have to know HOW something will happen, just believe that it will. HOW is not you concern. The Universe will always find a way and put everything into order to serve you. It will create situations, “coincidences” and perfect timings. It will send you the signs, the right people and co-creators to get you exactly where you want to be. It can’t be other way. There are no exceptions. If you get in tune with a feeling of anticipation and get excited about it with a conviction that it’s coming, you’ll witness it in your physical reality. Believe it. It’s coming!

Have a great week!

Art <3

Six human needs

Every day, we make choices based on our thoughts, feelings and habits we’ve created along the way. Every second, we’re following certain paths that create our destiny. What drives us to do or not do certain things? What is the deeper motivation for all of our decisions that shape our lives?

There are 6 human needs, we all long for. These are not just wishes or desires, but psychological needs, which we all, mostly unconsciously, try to satisfy all the time. They’re the deepest motivations for our daily choices. If these needs are being fulfilled on a higher level, we feel overall happy and content and if they’re not, well, we feel the opposite. Because this process usually happens unconsciously, sometimes you don’t even know why you feel the way you feel. On the surface, your life can seem perfectly fine, but you can still feel some unease or restlessness. It’s hard to satisfy all of these needs all the time, but if you know what they are, you can be more aware of the things you’re doing and why. Maybe you can find other, more practical ways to satisfy those needs or simply change your view on them.

So what are these 6 needs we all crave to fulfill?

 

1. Certainty: we need comfort and certainty, to reduce the stress of uncertainty. We need to feel safe.
2. Uncertainty: we need variety and a bit of uncertainty, to escape the daily routine and boredom. We need excitement.
3. Significance: we need to feel important and meaningful. We need a sense of identity and uniqueness. We need to feel special.
4. Connection: we need to make and have a deeper connection with people. We need to love and to be loved.
5. Growth: We need knowledge, experience and mental, emotional and spiritual growth in different aspects of our lives. We need progress.
6. Contribution: we need to contribute to something bigger than ourselves. We need to add worth to other people’s lives. We need to give.

 

So there you go. These are the 6 human needs that all of your decisions are based upon. Every time you make a decision, your intention is to fulfill one of these needs.

Now let me get back to the Law of Attraction, so we can make an important point. Most people are focused on the lack of these needs. They’re alarmed when they’re not getting something. What’s maybe even more important is that we often expect to get these things from other people and when we don’t, we feel even worse.

 

On the other hand, we take for granted and forget about the needs that ARE fulfilled. That creates a lack of gratitude, which is the fastest killer of your high vibrations and therefore the biggest obstacle on your way of creating. When you truly understand this pattern, you can change it. Redirect your focus on things that are going well and get your attention off the things that are not going so well. Believe that everything will fall into place, as soon as you get your vibes high and keep them there.

It’s not about faking your feelings by any means, nor is it neglecting your issues. It’s understanding that your emotions, therefore the way you feel, determine your outcome. Focusing on the things that are good in your life and things you’re grateful for will provide those emotions, resolving the things that are not so good. When you feel good, you’ll come up with ideas and solutions, you’ll meet the right people, create the right situations and see opportunities, you’d not see otherwise. Problems and solutions have different frequency, so you can’t find a solution, if you’re on the frequency of a problem.

I’m gonna wrap it up by reminding you to think about things you’re grateful for and just feel good about that for a while. You’ll witness miracles!

 

Have a great week!

 

Art <3

Fill your cup!

Two days ago I saw a 72 year old lady who didn’t look a day older than 50. She still hasn’t left my mind. Honestly, the first thing I thought was: “Well hello there, my future self!” I couldn’t help but smile at her, thinking: ”Wow, you look so fabulous and my respect is deep!” She smiled back as if she heard my thoughts. I was impressed with the way she carried herself. She was very well dressed, her make-up was spotless and you could see that she was taking care of herself. You can’t fake that kind of commitment.

There’s no one that can convince me that looks don’t matter, simply because you can see people’s habits on the outside. So it’s not really about looks, it’s exactly opposite. I can see if you’re working out 5 times a week, once a week or never. I can see if you’re smoking and eating junk. People are reflecting on the outside who they are on the inside. It’s really not about judgment or being superficial. I’m often misunderstood when I talk about this. It just says a lot about who you are and what your priorities are. You communicate that with your whole being. I don't have to know you to see if you're athletic, depressed, successful or stressed. It really shows all of it without you saying a word.

I’m a strong believer that if you don’t take care of yourself FIRST, you have absolutely nothing to give to someone else. So if you think that you’re being the best caregiver that God has ever made, because you’re always taking care of other people, you’re anything but that. It’s really true when they say: “You can’t pour from an empty cup!”

So, let’s talk about what most of you are thinking right now: “But I don’t have time!” The most used excuse of all times and the most untrue of course. See, all people in the world have exactly the same amount of hours in one day. The difference in their lives is how they choose to spend them. People say: “You don’t understand, I have a job and 2 kids and really, really, really no time left!” Well, I say: “There are people working 2 jobs, have 4 kids and still find the time!” Again, it’s not about having time, it’s about making time.

I juggle between my job, housekeeping, my son, gym and studying. Besides that, I always try to look my best and I still get to watch movies, listen to music, write, paint, read and spend time with friends. Of course I don’t always get everything done perfectly, but I still try to find balance between making time for myself and everything else. Of course, I have it easy because I ‘only’ have one kid and that’s so much different than having 2. Sure, I know, because that fact somehow makes you a ‘real’ full-time parent and I’m just a part-time parent. Excuses make me sarcastic, I’m sorry... :D So anyway, when people tell you they don’t have time for something or for you, just know that you’re simply not on their priority list. No bad feelings, just always know the difference between those who check on you in their free time and those who free their time to check on you.

Set your priorities straight! Write them down, make a plan and smash them. It’s really that simple. My priorities are personal growth, taking care of myself, being healthy physically and mentally, simply because I’m planning to stick around for quite some time. I want to be an example to my one and only son, leaving some importance in his life and possibly others I get to meet on this journey of existence and all of this looking fabulous and in heels!

I’ll leave you now to take a moment and think about what your priorities are and why. Do you wanna feel and look 50 when you’re 72? I do!

 

Have a great rest of the week!

 

Art <3    

Unapologetically YOU!

Working on yourself and becoming who you truly are is a lifelong process. New knowledge and new experiences change you every day. You’re not the same person you were yesterday and you will not be the same tomorrow. If you use your growth right, this is a good thing. Becoming better, stronger and smarter is a choice. Change is inevitable, but progress is up to you. It’s how you deal with change and it’s the meaning you give it that will determine your progress.

 

People don’t like change. They want what they’re used to, even if it’s bad for them. They want that comfort of certainty and familiarity. I know this, because I lived like this for years and I still battle these challenges to this day. Although I’ve grown so much and I’m trying to become my full, true, authentic self, there’s still that ego and fear that stand strong together to fight me. Too often, they’re also being empowered by people around us. What I’ve learned is that people don’t want you to change either. It’s not comfortable for them. They’ll make you doubt yourself; they’ll make you feel guilty. If you set boundaries, if you say “no”, if you stand up for yourself, if you choose your own happiness before their own, they will battle you and try to knock you down. You have to prepare for the fact that sometimes finding yourself means losing others and that’s ok. You are not responsible for other people’s happiness. People who truly love you will let you grow, they’ll let you be who you really are, they will celebrate your victories and be happy for your happiness. I’m still learning this…

When I was 18 years old, I reached the best possible state of mind I ever had. Due to earlier life struggles, I had just enough life experience to feel invincible, but still not even close enough life experience to be afraid. I felt unstoppable and wasn’t afraid or ashamed to make that very well known. Soon after, people happened, relationships happened, responsibilities happened…life happened. The fire within me was slowly put out. I learned to talk, behave and be the way other people expected me to. I’d do basically anything to avoid any kind of criticism. I didn’t go through with things I wanted, so others would be at peace. I see a lot of people, especially women, do the same thing, but they’re comfortably in denial. I got strong enough to acknowledge this and do something about it. Your own truth and vulnerability is a gift you own to yourself. It will set you free. Don’t let the ego fool you.

So, eventually, the fire in me was too strong to be put out. I'm basically becoming my 18 year old self again, but with a lot of life experience. I won’t behave, talk and be a certain way; I won’t be silent and hide my feelings, so people will be comfortable. I won’t let people determine who I should or shouldn’t be, say or not say, think or not think and feel or not feel. I won’t be expecting others to do so either. When I don’t like something about someone, I will simply avoid their presence. Let people be who they are at all times. If they’re bringing you good vibes, celebrate them, appreciate them and support them. If not, distance yourself, but let them be. You are responsible for your own personal space and the energy in it. Don’t blame others for bad energy if it’s you who allows it.

Be your true self and you will attract people who are comfortable around you and won’t have the need to change you. Compromise is sometimes necessary, sure, but not if you have to compromise who you really are. Relationships are about freedom of individual growth. It’s not about molding yourself into someone else’s vision of you. Don’t be afraid to disappoint other people, because you’ll pay the price of disappointing yourself. Don’t take life so serious, because it’s really not. We’re here to play and be happy. Don’t wake up at 80 yrs old, wishing you did and said things you wanted. Wishing you weren’t afraid to be who you really are.

So who is the true, raw, pure YOU? Without your job, without your status, without your partner, without your kids, without any external things you identify with. Ask yourself and be honest: are you really happy or are you just really comfortable?

Have a great week!

<3 Art